


Aaron's plea.

by Fangirlqueen87



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Court setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 13:26:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5092439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlqueen87/pseuds/Fangirlqueen87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Aaron's day in court, what will he plea and how will Robert react?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this ;) just my take on what's coming up for the boys

Aaron gazed up at the ceiling, the grey panels blocking out any sign of escape and allowing his heart to race wildly as he grew more and more claustrophobic. Aaron was itching to leave the small room and breathe in the fresh air, even though he knew the trip to the court room wouldn't be long. He knew that it would last only a few minutes if that, a quick look up to his mum and Paddy and maybe even Cain after stating his plea and then he'd be off again back to the small room. Aaron shut his eyes hard forcing himself to block out the guilt that was building inside, the guilt that he would feel instantly as he saw his mum. Aaron pictured the pained expression on her face, the deep hurt and despair that she would feel as she looked at her son back in court once more. This time he wasn't responsible, he was completely innocent yet he knew that he wouldn't be able to walk away so easily - not this time.

Aaron's mind raced back to the night when things went wrong, he remembered himself picking up the gun frantically, in a desperate attempt to save his mum. Aaron smiled weakly, wanting to laugh at his stupidity, his quick thinking that had ultimately wound him up in prison.

The action sent shivers down his spine as his thoughts turned to Robert and how he might be recovering. When his mum had told him on the oh one there was little details giving, Chas had rather bluntly got to the point, informing Aaron that he was awake and couldn't remember anything important. The harshness in her tone had allowed his mind to feel with unwelcome thoughts. He wanted nothing more than to scream down the phone to his mum, shout his frustration at her for the lack of details or sensitivity to the subject. Unanswered questions had filled his mind instantly as his mother quickly ended the call.

_Is he alright?_

_How long has he been awake?_

_Is there any lasting damage?_

_What exactly does he remember?_

 

The phone call had only intensified Aaron's deep fears, causing him to become even more introverted and secluded.  
Aaron's negative thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the guard unlocking the metal door that barricaded him from the outside world. The key churned slowly causing Aaron's heart rate to increase as he waited for the guard to take him away.

"C'mon lad." The burly guard said rather slowly, gesturing for Aaron to raise to his feet and move towards the door, "It'll be over and done with in no time." The guard cried rather cheerfully after seeing Aaron's distressed face.

Aaron nodded slowly before walking out the door and following the guard past the other cells. The sound of angry men filled his head as he heard the other prison shout their demands or cry out their innocence. Aaron smiled weakly, thinking about how petty they all sounded.

_I'll never be like that, no way._

Aaron said to himself, convinced that when it came down to it Aaron would never be one of them. One of them deluded prisoners who still protested his innocence after however many years, someone who wouldn't accept their fate and learn to live with the injustice that had taken place. Aaron caught his breath as he finally sat at the back of the small police van, in shock as he realised that already he was preparing himself for a long prison sentence. A lifetime behind bars for a crime he didn't commit.

 

* * *

 

 

Robert sighed heavily as he stared down at the newspaper in front of him, agitated by the bold letters on the front page:

 

** LOCAL THUG STATES PLEA OVER BRUTAL SHOOTING TODAY. **

 

Robert scoffed loudly as he read the sentence over and over again, his anger only increasing as he gazed at the words. Victoria could see her brother's troubled expression from a mile away making her instantly curious.

  
"You alright?" Victoria said noisily peering across to her brother who sat at the table nursing a lukewarm tea and clutching the newspaper.

Victoria got up from her seat after hearing no response from her brother, gazing down at him she instantly saw the headline and her eyes widened in frustration as she saw how effected Robert was by it.

"Oi don't torture yourself over all this." Victoria snapped snatching the newspaper away from her brother "What good is it going to do? You're still recovering, you don't need this stress!"

Robert stared at his sister with an angry expression, reaching his hand out to her but too weak to snatch the paper back "Give it back! I was reading that."

Victoria rolled her eyes,  
"No you were looking at the stupid stuff they said about Aaron and getting yourself all worked up."

Robert sighed loudly, agitated that his sister had realised what he was doing,  
"Have you read it? Local thug, I mean really. How long ago was all that eh? It's ridiculous." Robert bit his lip hard realising that he has said to much as he saw Victoria's expression. Her eyes widening as she sighed and sat opposite him, she knew that Robert's feelings were still present but she didn't realise to what extent he was willing to show her. Yet in that moment Robert had voiced exactly what he felt, he had indirectly exposed his anger towards the whole situation, his frustration with Aaron being locked up for a crime he didn't commit.

"Listen Rob. I know that ... whatever happened between you two was enough to make you think that he ... he couldn't do it to you but -"

"No Victoria it's enough to make me know he couldn't do it." Robert interrupted, his anger growing as he saw how cautious Victoria was being.

"Whatever!" Victoria shouted, "You can think what you like but it isn't going to make you any better!"

Robert scoffed loudly,  
"I'm not the one spending my days in prison though am I Vic!"

"You've just come out of hospital!"

"I know," Robert mumbled, relief washing over him as he remembered the hospital smell that lingered around him for days. "But it doesn't compare. Yeah I got shot but it's not like I didn't deserve it!"

"Don't say that Robert." Victoria snapped, annoyed by how causally Robert was able to talk about his near death experience, irritated by his quick acceptance of the incident and his eagerness to move on.

"It's true!" Robert said almost smiling "I mean after everything no wonder why somebody wanted to put a bullet in me!"  
Victoria tutted loudly, rolling her eyes.

"But Aaron" Robert said softly, the mention of his name instantly calming him down and making him feel light and warm "What his going through, he doesn't deserve it. Not like me."

Victoria gazed at her brother, noticing the guilt that he felt. The guilt that would never properly disappear until things were resolved.

"Robert, you need to focus on getting yourself better. Not focusing all your time on trying to stand up for Aaron." Victoria sighed remembering the scene made in the pub last night when Chrissie had a few words to say on the matter:

 

" _All I'm saying is I think it's pretty funny that Aaron pulled the trigger." Chrissie said, tipsy on her red wine as well as the hate she felt for Robert._

_The bashing of Aaron had gone on for over half an hour as Robert heard her cackles and horrible words from the back room. Robert felt his whole body tick as everyone nasty comment burned deep inside. It didn't take long for Robert to raise from his seat and confront Chrissie._

_"Enough." Robert said sternly, using as much energy as he had - still recovering from the shooting which had taken a massive toll on him._

_"Oh look." Chrissie said smugly "Here's Robert coming to defend poor Aaron's honour, isn't that sweet."_

_"I mean it Chrissie." Robert whispered, embarrassed by the state of his wife and the spiteful words she spat._

_"Just accept it Robert." Chrissie said hauling herself from her seat before taking a last swig of wine "Your little lover boy shot you down." Chrissie whispered leaning over the bar before winking at Robert and heading towards the door._

_"You're wrong." Robert shouted, alerting the locals as well as Victoria who had came from the kitchen after hearing her brother shout "You're all wrong okay. Aaron didn't do it."_

_"Urgh Rob not this again!" Victoria sighed still holding onto a wooden spoon from the kitchen._

_"No Vic I'm sick of everyone thinking that they know the truth, everyone thinking that Aaron could try to kill someone."_

_"Well it wouldn't be the first time I suppose." Chrissie giggled from the corner of the room, instantly the whole room shot her a dirty look forcing her to apologise before swiftly making her exit._

_"I'll prove it. Tomorrow when he has his hearing, everyone will see that he didn't do it. Just wait." Robert said to the entire pub, full of locals who all had their opinions on the matter. Robert shot Victoria a final look of disappointment, annoyed that his own sister didn't believe him and chose to ignore his ideas, and returned to the back room. Robert rested his head slowly as he slid down the sofa, his energy decreasing as he sighed loudly, realising that tomorrow was the day where things would change forever._

 

* * *

 

 

Robert shot Victoria a dirty look, annoyed that once again his sister seemed to disregard his thoughts,  
"I'm not just trying to stand up for him. I'm just telling the truth."

"Well when you're a liar and a cheat Rob, maybe it's not that easy for people to tell when your telling the truth." Victoria grinned, sneakily trying to lighten the mood her failing miserably as she looked at her brother's irritated expression.

"I'm serious Victoria, you'll see today when we go." Robert said with so much conviction that he seemed to surprise himself.

Victoria gulped hard,  
"Yeah about that Rob." Robert looked up at his steer with a confused expression "Me and Diane were talking and we thought it would be best if me and Adam just go."

Robert felt the anger boil inside him,  
"Excuse me. I have every right to go, why would it be best for you and -" Robert rolled his eyes quickly, "Adam to go?"

Victoria sighed preparing herself for what she was about to say,  
"Well you know Adam is his best mate and ... trust me I ... I gave him a hard time about him taking sides but ... but this way I'd be supporting Adam and ... getting to see if Aaron looks guilty or anything."

Robert was seething as he realised that it made a lot of sense for Adam to go. Victoria was right he was his best mate and right now that's who Aaron needed,  
"You're right." Robert whispered, Victoria sat in shock as she saw her brother look broken "Aaron needs him right now. I'm glad that he took his side, he seems to be the only one who is. But I ... I need to see him too."

"No you don't Robert. What good would it do if you came too?"

Robert sat for a moment, trying to think of a suitable response. In all honesty Robert had no idea what good it would do, he hadn't thought that far ahead into the future. He was concentrated on seeing Aaron for the first time in weeks, hearing his voice, seeing his blue eyes. He needed to see it. It was no longer a request as he sat at the kitchen table asking his sister if he could take along, picturing Aaron standing alone and weak had instantly made the request see, pointless. Robert was going to see Aaron and no one would stop him.

"I'm going whether you like it or not Vic." Robert said sternly as he stared at Victoria, his mind made up.

Victoria went to open her mouth to speak, to retaliate and argue with her older brother for a further few minutes. Yet as she watched him leave the table slowly she realised that there must be an important reason behind it, more than the desperation to see Aaron say those two little words ' _not guilty'_.

Victoria knew exactly the reason behind it - Robert was still whole heartedly, unconditionally in love with Aaron and there was nothing she could do to prevent her brother falling even deeper.


	2. Mid Afternoon.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron prepare for the afternoon ahead...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;) thank you so much for all the Kudos as well!

Aaron sat awkwardly in yet another small waiting room, travelling from the remand centre to the court took a matter of minutes yet it felt like years for Aaron who had sat at the back overthinking how the day would pan out. Aaron breathed in heavily as he grew more and more impatient, he was sick of all the waiting.

"Oi boss." Aaron said slamming his fist on the door and alerting the young looking guard who was standing on the other side.  
"How much longer now?" Aaron whined after the guard opened the small rectangular hole in the wall.

"Er well your hearing is it two thirty, so you have about an hour and a bit to go." The guard said peering down at his watch.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes in frustration,  
"Then why am I here so early? It took like five minutes to get here!"

"Well you don't really ever know how long each hearing will take. You might get seen earlier than expected so they bring you in about an hour before."

Aaron bit his lip before nodded and allowing the guard to cut him off from the outside world again. Aaron couldn't help but wish that there had been some sort of cancellation, so that he would be seen before his family would arrive. The thought made him feel guilty as he imagined his mum distraught that she had missed him make his plea. Aaron nodded his head slowly as he sat down on the hard chair in the corner of the small room, he knew that it would probably be for the best. Picturing his mum see him this way, so broken and weak was enough to make him block out any positive aspects of seeing her.

Aaron tapped away at his knee agitated by the seconds that were slowly passing by, wishing that they day would be over as quickly as possible - all of sudden craving the sheltered prison cell once more.

 

* * *

 

 

Robert stared down at his watch, gazing at the amount of time left till Aaron's plea would be heard in court. Robert bit his lip hard as he climbed out of the shower slowly, still getting used to being so mobile after weeks of laying in bed had taken a toll on how quickly he could carry out simple tasks. Moving over to his bed, Robert slouched down lazily on his pillow, dabbing away at his skin as he dried himself off. Victoria had gone out soon after their disagreement over breakfast, promising that her and Adam would be back in time to collect him before heading to court.

The promise echoed in Robert's mind as he hauled himself up from his bed and made his way to the small wardrobe in the corner of the room. Robert sighed hard, staring at the clothes hung lazily, the suits and shirts that Robert usually wore. It had been a while since Robert had worn one of his formal suits, the navy blue one was the first that caught his eye. Robert grabbed it slowly and placed it down on the bed, carefully ironing out the creases with his hands as he realised that he probably wouldn't have time to iron it out. A wave of guilt flowed through Robert as he gazed down at the suit, he had almost forgotten why exactly he was wearing it - as in that moment his thoughts fell back to the many times he had prepared to go out with Aaron.

Memories of the times where he had studied his vast wardrobes and traced his fingers across the many different suits he had fell to the front of his mind. The many shades of grey blazers from charcoal to an almost black colour that made Robert tingle with excitement as he got ready to meet Aaron.

The atmosphere was incredibly different now he stared down at the suit laying on his bed, he no longer felt excitement about the prospect of putting it on and racing out the door to see Aaron. Instead he felt dread. Robert took a few minutes resting on his bed, gaining back so much needed energy before walking over to the full length mirror opposite him. Robert caught his breath, he had seen his reflection hundreds of time, studied the perfection of his hair and the complexion of his skin. Yet this time if was different, it felt odd and unnatural as he gazed at the man staring back at him with a shocked expression.

It was the first time Robert had spent so long staring at his reflection since the shooting. The first time that Robert was able to study the scar so prominent on his chest, the scar that would forever remain and remind him of his wicked ways and his brush with death. Robert's eyes widened as he stared at the scar, it was almost teasing him as his mind played tricks and began to show the scar growing and becoming even bigger, sliding across his chest and travelling further down to his stomach. Robert shut his eyes tightly, opening them quickly and breathing a sigh of relief as the scar still sat on his chest patiently, no longer growing bigger in his mind.

Carefully Robert traced his finger over the prominent scar resting on his chest, Robert hesitated slightly has realised how smooth it was. It was different than what he expected, smoother - more subtle and innocent than what he imagined. Robert stared at himself once more, the scar seeming less like the monster he was afraid to see. Instantly Robert's thoughts raced back to Aaron, how could they not? As he gazed at himself he couldn't help but think of Aaron, wondering if he had done the same thing once, if he had stared at his reflection and traced his fingers over the many scars resting on his chest that flowed down to his stomach.

Robert sighed, it was a thought he couldn't shake off, the thought of Aaron standing like him - alone in his room as he stared at the scars that scattered his front. Quickly memories filled Robert's mind as he remembered the first time he had talked to Aaron about his scars. Robert bit his lip and stared to the ground as he recalled the rather awkward start to the conversation:

_Robert was laying down next to Aaron, comfortably resting his shoulder into his chest when he saw them. The scars scattered his lovers stomach making Robert feel uneasy as he stared at them silently. Robert had never seen so many scars, they were all different, special in their own way Robert thought as he continued to gaze down at them. Robert couldn't help but become transfixed on the deep cuts that rested on Aaron's skin, that seemed so loud and important to him yet didn't stir any emotion from Aaron as he laid back amongst the hay._

_Aaron sensed an change in atmosphere as he noticed Robert staring at his stomach, Aaron gulped hard not knowing what to expect as Robert suddenly broke from his trance and gazed up at him slowly. The younger mans heart began to race wildly as he imagined what exactly Robert would say, he was never one to beat around the bush and was almost ready for Robert to make a quick snide remark._

_"Yeah?" Aaron asked Robert rather bluntly._

_"Er...nothing." Robert said ripping his eyes away from Aaron in embarrassment._

_"Don't lie." Aaron said softly, gently nudging Robert and forcing him to turn back to him._

_Robert moved his eyes down to Aaron's scars once more, forcing Aaron to look at them as well. Aaron rolled his eyes as he saw Robert giving him that look - the look that he knew all too well. The look that Chas and Paddy had given him constantly over the past years that made him feel like a vulnerable little child once more._

_Robert gulped hard,  
"When's the last time you did it?" he whispered softly as he moved his fingers around the scars, before gliding his finger over straight over one of them. Robert almost caught his breath as he felt the jagged feeling on his skin._

_Aaron sighed quietly, dwelling on the past wasn't something that he wanted to do but he couldn't help but feel slightly touched that Robert was taking an interest in something so personal,  
"When I was in France."_

_"With that guy you ran off with?" Robert bit his lip, cautiously trying not to push Aaron too far._

_Aaron smiled as he remembered 'that guy he ran off with', he remembered the love he felt for him. The sweet uncomplicated love that could have lasted._

_"Yeah...Ed." Aaron shifted slightly and coughed "But... er...it never happened when I was with him. It started after though."_

_Robert saw the look in Aaron's eyes, he was remembering his past and it was something he didn't normally do. Robert's head told him to leave the discussion, to move on and crash his lips into Aaron to stop the thoughts overwhelming him. Yet the itch to know more about his casual lover was pulling him towards more questioning._

_"Why did you do it?"_

_Aaron itched his beard slowly before shrugging his shoulders,  
"I don't know really. To help me cope with everything."_

_"Everything?"_

_Aaron blinked hard as he remembered what 'everything' had meant to him,  
"Being alone I guess. It made me think about ... things from my past that I tried to ignore."_

_Robert felt a sense of anger burn inside him, picturing Aaron all alone suddenly made him feel guilty,  
"And what about this Ed. He just packed his bags and left?" Robert snapped almost instantly._

_"It wasn't like that. We ... we just drifted apart after a while. I felt like ... like I was holding him back somehow." Aaron admitted, making himself feel odd and uncomfortable. He'd never admitted the thoughts properly, never voiced them aloud._

_Robert titled his head slightly,  
"How do you mean?"_

_Aaron smiled weakly,  
"He was this ... this fit rugby guy who would have to run home to his boyfriend after a game rather than go out with his mates - he felt guilty for leaving me so often and ... and I hated that."_

_Robert sighed realising how hard it must have been for Aaron to deal with being alone so often._

_"I mean it could have worked, if we were back here and ... I had Adam to keep my company. If I had more stuff to do but ... working with all those cars for Ed's mate, it wasn't that exciting and it was part time."_

_Robert nodded slowly letting Aaron continue "In the end it was just better to just move on. But ... I ended up working on some low pay cleaning wage and ..."_

_"Go on," Robert whispered slowly._

_"Hurting myself just ... just made me ... better. It made things better."_

_Aaron gazed down at Robert and noticed the worry in his eyes,  
"I ... I don't do it anymore, don't worry."_

_"I'm not!" Robert said sitting up quickly and trying to control his emotions. Irritated that Aaron had spotted the concern in his voice, the last thing he wanted was for Aaron to see how he felt._

_"Good. Wouldn't want anyone to think that you actually have a heart or out." Aaron said cheekily winking at Robert._

_Laughter filled the air as the two lovers began to roll around in the hay once more, the tension instantly easing and making the situation feel light once more._

_"I'm happy you know." Robert said after another make out session with Aaron had commenced and Aaron had dragged Robert away from him, convincing him that he had to go back to work._

_"About what?" Aaron asked as he lifted his shirt over his naked torso._

_"You seem so...I mean you don't let it effect you." Robert said softly, almost embarrassed by his words._

_Aaron smiled as he dropped his head to the floor, flattered by Robert's kind words,  
"Thanks."_

_"I hope I'm as brave as you if I ever end up with scars all over me."  Robert chuckled leaning over to Aaron and giving him a quick kiss before leaving the small barn._

 

Robert felt a tear fall down his cheek as he remembered the words he had said, how scary it all seemed now that he was staring at the scar so prominent on his chest. Everything seemed to stop all of a sudden as Robert became overwhelmed with it all, the memories of a much simpler times had forced Robert to accept the reality that he was facing. The cold hard reality that he was going through, where his biggest worries weren't if he had seemed too keen in front of Aaron or had been to obvious about his growing feelings - things were much harder now and Robert hated it.

Soon Robert was dressed in the navy suit, buttoning up his shirt Robert made his way downstairs as he waited for Adam and Victoria to arrive. Robert stared down at his watch forty five minutes remained until it was time, a nervous energy rippled through him as he eased down on the sofa and decided to fill his mind with rubbish afternoon television hoping that the sound would drone out the worry that was growing by the minute.

 

* * *

 

Time was dragging by for Aaron. It seemed almost ridiculously slow. Aaron had already asked the guard twice if he was any nearer to leaving the small room but he got the same answer " _Not quite mate._ " Aaron rested his head against the wall, forcing his eyes shut - he was overwhelmed with the feeling of dread very suddenly.

The feeling making him light headed as he knelt down on the floor. His heart was racing erratically making him feel sick - the sensation sent panic through his body as he realised the gravity of the situation. Reality was hitting him hard as he realised that he couldn't go through another court case again, he couldn't stand in the dock and state his plea. Memories of Jackson came flooding back into his mind as he remembered all the pain he went through, the pain he promised his mum he would never put himself or her though again. Yet here he was, struggling to breathe as he knelt down on the cold police floor cell, with people ready to prove that he had planned to kill yet another one of his lovers. It was too much to think about for Aaron - his fragile mind was growing weaker as his desperation reached new heights.

 

* * *

 

 

Fifteen minutes rolled by and Robert had checked the door more than five times, wishing that his sister and her husband would enter any minute and put him out of his misery. The moment came soon after the sixth glance at the door as Robert heard Victoria chatting away to Adam as she unlocked door and entered the house.

"Well you took your time didn't you!" Robert snapped, getting up quickly and adjusting his tie slightly.

Adam rolled his arms,  
"What? His coming too?" He shouted, flapping his arms around in frustration.

Victoria sighed deeply realising that not telling Adam hadn't helped matters,  
"I've tried telling him but he won't listen to me. What do you expect me to do eh? Pin him down and not let him leave!"

"I'm not a child Vic. It's my decision." Robert said angrily before looking at Adam "And whoever has a problem with it can get lost because I don't care what anyone thinks about me going."

"Try telling Chas and Cain that." Adam whispered before leaving the room in a huff leaving Victoria to deal with her brother's attitude.

"What?" Robert said as he saw Victoria glare at him.

"I hope you know what you're doing Rob."

Robert sighed loudly before fidgeting with this sleeves,  
"And what's that supposed to mean then?"

"You obviously want to see him for a reason, let's just hope you get what you want out of it yeah." Victoria said narrowing her eyebrows before leaving the room and following and getting her bag.

Robert slammed the cottage door shut as he followed Victoria and Adam to Adam's car parked outside. Robert rolled his eyes as he realised that the journey there would probably be full of insults from Adam which would result in Victoria trying her best to resolve everything before bickering herself.

Halfway to the court Robert bit his tongue for the third time that journey. Adam had chucked another insult his way and Robert had tried his best to brush it off once again.

"I'm sure Aaron will be fine babe." Victoria said softly as they parked, patted her husbands back and kissing him quickly on the cheek.

Robert watched from the back seat, pulling a face the way a child would when there parents started kissing. He hated how upset Adam was about it all, he resented the support that Victoria gave him as she reassured him that everything would be okay. It was what he wanted, what he needed from his little sister.

 

The court house was familiar for Robert as he climbed the marble steps and walked in front of Adam and Victoria who were now hand in hand, Victoria still comforting Adam as the worry grew in his eyes. Robert led the way as he reached the third flight of stairs and walked past the closed doors until he reached the appropriate one. As expected the door was shut and a sign hung clearly:

  
**Aaron Livesy - 14:30**

 

Robert gulped hard as he felt Victoria's breath reach the back of his neck, Robert studied the sign that so simply summed up the start of Aaron's court case, feeling sick with dread. It was happening, he would see Aaron for the first time in weeks, standing there being reminding of the crime that he was accused of committing.

"Looks like we're early." Victoria sighed, looking at the time on her phone and seeing that it would start in twenty minutes.

"Go sit down babe." Adam said softly winking at Victoria and gesturing to the seat In the corner of the landing.

Robert held his gaze until Adam moved in closer.  
"Why are you here?" Adam whispered in Robert's ear forcing him to rip his eyes away from the sign.

Robert turned his head round and stared directly at Adam,  
"Because I can be. It's not like anyone's going to stop me right?"

Adam smirked,  
"Really? You think that Cain is gonna let you get through those doors mate."

Robert's heart raced as he imagined Cain punching him to the ground, it was enough to make him cower slightly as he realised that he was way too weak to try and fight Cain.

"I think he is." Robert smirked, this new found confidence not welcomed by his brother in law "I think that Cain is smart enough to know that if he lays a finger on me will both get kicked out and that wouldn't do anyone any good would it. Poor Chas needs all the support she can get at the moment."

Adam hated the fact that Robert was probably right, Cain could be unpredictable and volatile but he wasn't thick. He could control his anger when he needed to, and Chas' feelings would mean more to him than Robert lingering around.

The sound of feet interrupted Adam's thoughts as he watched Cain and Chas walk up the flight of stairs and meet Robert's eyes. Adam relished in Robert's uncomfortableness grow as he bent his head towards the ground,  
"We'll see shall we." Adam whispered before moving away from Robert and approaching Cain and Chas.

"What the hell is he doing here!" Chas shouted angrily pointing to Robert he was now almost cowering in the corner.

Robert felt a flush of red invade his complexion, he wanted nothing more than to race past Cain and Chas and storm down the stairs until he was finally free from their nasty looks but it wasn't that simple or easy - he had to face them, it was the only way.

Adam shrugged his shoulders and Victoria tried her best to reason with Chas,  
"Listen alright, just think about it -"

"No I won't think about anything until he is out of my sight!" Chas said, tears spilling in her eyes as Cain stood behind her protectively.

Robert edged closer daring to approach Aaron's anger mother,  
"Look Chas I'm just here to see if he did it. I'll know if he did it when I see him?" Robert whispered trying his hardest to speak as quickly as possible.

"And who are you? Columbo! Able to solve crimes in an instant!" Cain apart,maturing at Robert in disgust.

"Someone shot him Cain! He has a right to know what Aaron will plead." Victoria shouted breaking free from Adam's grip.

  
"Leave it Victoria." Robert sighed moving towards Victoria.

"Oh whatever." Cain scoffed before closing in on Victoria, "My heart bleeds."

Adam moved forward blocking Cain from Victoria,  
"Oi back off alright this isn't her fault." Adam shouted.

Cain held out his hands and placed them in front of him,  
"Alright", Cain sighed "I'm sorry okay."

Chas continued to stare at Robert, shooting daggers at him and forcing him to move away from her slightly. Chas was seething with anger as she stared at Robert who appeared fit and well, who had made a full recovery whilst her son deteriorated behind a police cell. It wasn't fair, none of it was.

"How can you just stand there?" Chas said staring at Robert, her disgust growing by the second. "Look at ya! Bold as brass!"

Robert lifted his head slowly,  
"It's not like that at all, please just -"

"Playing the innocent little victim and showing up here!" Chas continued ignoring Cain's warnings and launching another attack on Robert who stood still accepting the insults until Chas calmed herself down.

  
It took longer than he expected but by the end of her speech that rambled on about how he was to blame, he plucked up the courage to speak back,  
"I know that what happened to me, I deserved it. But I'm not here for any arguments - I'm here because ... because no matter how much I deserved it, no matter how badly I hurt him - I need to look at him today and see if he could ever do it. Just seeing him ... I'll know straight away. I know I will."

Chas relaxed her shoulders as she stared at Cain,  
"It won't do that much harm sis, if he just sits with Victoria and keeps his mouth shut. But it's your call."

Chas turned her head back round to Robert sharply expecting him to reassure her that this would certainly be the case. Robert raised his hands up almost surrendering,  
"I promise, I'll keep quiet."

Victoria stared at Chas in anticipation as Chas continued to deliberate. Every bit of her wanted to push him away, she hated the fact that Robert would be able to see Aaron yet the more she thought about it the more frustrated she became - wasting her time and energy on Robert flaming Sugden wasn't something she wanted to do.

"Just think how good it will look for Aaron if the victim is turning up with the family." Victoria said, trying to follow Chas' eyes.

Cain sighed,  
"She's right Chas, I'm sure it won't go unnoticed."

Robert was shaking as waited for Chas to make her mind up, he never expected to be so eager to see Aaron - knowing that he might plead guilty. None of it mattered anymore as he waited, the very idea of seeing his ex lover was enough to send a tingle of longing through his body.

Chas nodded slowly in Robert's direction as he let out a sigh of relief,  
"Just stay with Vic." She whispered before turning away with Cain.

Robert stood still for a few moments, allowing himself to feel completely overwhelmed with relief as he realised that he would be able to see Aaron once more, however brief it would be - he would see Aaron and that is all that mattered. Robert was snatched away from his faults as he heard the sound of the doors open loudly, turning his head round to face them Robert saw a small man standing by the door.

The man was holding piles of paper and Robert realised that he must have been Aaron's solicitor, Robert tutted loudly as he saw how unorganised he seemed and wished that he could get Aaron a better one. One who looked a tad more presentable.

"Er the family of ... of Mr Livesy?"

Chas perked up slightly,  
"Yeah over here." She said getting up from her seat nervously.

"If you'd like to follow me please." The man said rather softly as he ushered Chas and Cain through the doors.

Victoria and Adam followed soon after as Robert trailed behind, once agin fidgeting with his tie nervously almost as if Aaron would pay attention to how neat he looked. Robert pushed open the door as he braced himself to see Aaron for the first time in weeks, it seemed like forever since their eyes had met..

 

* * *

 

 

The sound of the key entering the hole and clicking loudly alerting Aaron who had managed to calm himself down slightly. The young looking guard smiled as he entered the room,  
"Looks like they're ready for you now."

Aaron bit his lip nervously, instantly wishing he had more time to himself, the thought of seeing his family so briefly wasn't something that Aaron wanted to dwell on. The fact that there would be hardly any time to interact with them killed him inside as he realised just how pointless there journey would be. He had been here before, he had gone through the procedure many a time and he never liked the thought of his mum peering at him from above, on the stands. The imagine unsettled Aaron slightly as he walked out of the small room and made his way up the stairs to the court room. Instantly the familiar tense atmosphere filled the room and overwhelmed Aaron as he shakily approached the dock, keeping his head firmly towards the ground trying his hardest to avoid the stares from the stands above him.

The sound of his mum's voice echoed through him, making him feel an odd and melancholy suddenly the harsh blunt voice of his uncle filled his ears as he remained fixated on the floor beneath him, the next voice he heard was Adam's the low and deep murmur that made his heart race slightly - touched that his best friend had made the effort to come. Aaron found himself listening out for his other friend who would have probably accompanied her husband rather than what she personally thought of his arrest - it was low and soft just like he remembered.

Certain that he knew who exactly had come to see him make his plea, Aaron raised his head slowly yet sharply stopped as he heard one more low whisper. The voice husky and strong yet layered with worry and weakness - worry that Aaron resented hearing and weakness that wasn't familiar to him at all. The low whisper had stopped Aaron his tracks as he suddenly dared to imagine his ex lover sitting above him whispering his thoughts to Victoria as he gazed down at him. The thought was too much to think about as Aaron tried his hardest to block it out, telling himself that the voice wasn't his, that in reality his Uncle Zack had come down for some moral support or James had been a tag along with Chas - desperately trying to please his mother.

Aaron shook his head slowly, ' _anyone but him_ ' the thought to himself as he lifted his head up and turned around to face the stands slowly. Aaron felt his heart race wildly as he saw him, as he stared at the man who sat next to Victoria, his mouth opened slightly and his eyes wide eyed. Aaron caught his breath whilst he gazed at the low whispering voice, as Robert Sugden stared back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look at that little cliffhanger!


	3. Late afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What effect will Robert have on Aaron?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for my lack of knowledge on the whole court system (lack of experience!)  
> Hope you enjoy ;)

Robert held his breath, as he gazed at the man below him who looked so frail and broken. A wave of guilt and despair washed over him as he saw Aaron's eyes, brimming with tears and full of misery. Misery that he had caused. The dark circles circling them, only added another heap of guilt to Robert's heart as he tried to rip his eyes away from him.

Robert's breathing intensified erratically as Aaron held his gaze, seeing Aaron stare at him longingly almost reading his deep thoughts managed to put him on egde. Aaron had always been able to get under Robert's skin and find exactly what made him tick, as Aaron held his stare Robert realised that once again Aaron was able to unsettle him slightly.

Aaron sighed slowly as he shook his head, Aaron began blinking erratically, almost wishing that the blonde haired boy in the stands was only a figment of his imagination. It had to be, right? There could be no other explanation for it. Why on earth would Robert be here? Aaron breathed in slowly as he looked at Robert's pale complexion, it was odd to see him look so nervous. Aaron's mind raced back to Robert in hospital, remembering the visit he made weeks ago and how pale and weak he appeared. As Aaron stared back at his ex lover, he didn't look much different. Aaron hated to admit it to himself yet he felt rather disappointed with the lack of progress Robert had made since he last saw him. Aaron sighed harder this time, resenting the fact that Robert had overwhelmed his thoughts, his health and well being taking centre stage and allowing Aaron to forget why he was there momentarily.

Robert was staring back wildly, almost wincing at Aaron as he saw the damage that he had done to his lover. The damage that couldn't be undone. Aaron ripped his eyes away from Robert sharply after a voice in his head told him to. He despised the man, resented the anger and almost pity that Robert probably felt for him. Instead of focusing his attention to Robert he looked at his family instead, smiling weakly as his mum sat next to Cain who winked quickly showing his support the best way he could. Aaron nodded trying his best to voice the deep gratitude he felt for his uncle who had clearly helped his mum through the difficult through weeks. Next Aaron turned his attention on Adam, who still had a cheeky smile painted across his face despite the nervousness in his eyes. Aaron couldn't help but smile back at his best friend trying his hardest to reassure him that he was okay really. It was a lie obviously but as he stared at Adam more he realised just how badly Adam needed things to be okay.

Robert felt a jab of pain press against his heart as he watched Aaron's face brighten as soon as he saw his family and Adam, he was jealous of how almost instantly they could improve his mood and undo the tension building in his shoulders. Robert wanted nothing more than to be able to make him smile again, as small and weak as it could be - it didn't matter. It pained Robert to think that once upon a time he was the reason behind Aaron's smiles, the person responsible for Aaron's cheery moods. It all seemed so different now, as if everything had flipped and Robert was now only in charge of the pain Aaron felt and the scars across his body.

Robert couldn't help but study his ex lover who had now managed to turn away from the stands entirely, his mind became bombarded with images of Aaron struggling to cope in prison. It would be another few weeks until everything was over really, this plea hearing was only the start of more pain and heartbreak. And as Robert transfixed his eyes on Aaron, he began to acknowledge the devastating possibility - Aaron taking matter into his own hands, punishing himself the only way he knew.

Aaron fidgeted slightly as he kept his head forward, staring at the empty chair ahead that the judge would sit on any minute now as he walked in. Coughing quietly Aaron had managed to alert his mother again who was now whispering loudly to Cain.

"Hear that? He's not coping in here." Chas said leaning over to her brother and shaking her head in frustration.

Cain rolled his eyes slowly,  
"He coughed Chas!"

"It wasn't just a cough Cain! What if his coming down with something, I mean prison isn't the most hygienic of places what if he -"

"Chill out!" Cain snapped facing his sister and patting her shoulder.

Robert shut his eyes momentarily frustrated by the whole conversation. It wasn't helping him at all, hearing someone voice the fears he felt that were buried deep inside, hidden away.

Another door opened swiftly and in walked the Judge. A large round man who carried a dozen sheets of papers folded nicely in a black folder he carried. Aaron raised his head to look at him before exhaling slowly, relived that the Judge seemed to know a fair bit about the case.

Aaron eased the tension in shoulders as he moved his neck in a circular motion, trying his best to seem relaxed and content with his plea decision. The decision wasn't hard to make whatsoever for Aaron, he knew he wasn't guilty and he couldn't bare the thought of blackening the dingle name any more by pleading any differently. The villagers hearing about his plea would probably be the talk of the town Aaron thought as he waited for the Judge to begin. The gossip that would travel right to the heart of the small village, The Woolpack where he knew Chas would have to listen to everyone's opinions on the matter. Aaron sighed realising that whatever he pleaded would provoke a reaction out of the villagers, whether it be a guilty confession or not Aaron would still be judged.

"Now then." The Judge stated powerfully capturing the attention of the room "Mr Aaron Livesy, son of Chas Dingle and Gordon Livesy."

Aaron felt his heart race wildly, the mention of his fathers name had caused a weird reaction to take place within him as he tried to imagine what exactly his dad would have made of the accusation. Frankly he didn't care most of the time. Yet as he stood so weak and pathetically vulnerable to the law, his father's possible disapproval and disappointment fell to the front of his mind.

"Mr Livesy?" The Judge asked expecting an immediate response from the troubled man who stood in front of him.

Robert wanted nothing more than to jump over the stands and stand next to Aaron, to hold his hand and tell him everything would be okay but how could he. What right did he have to reassure Aaron. Robert felt himself begin to panic and almost instantly he had felt the warmth of Victoria as she held onto his hand tightly. Robert turned to her quickly, smiling softly as he became overwhelmed with appreciation. The soft squeeze of his sister's hand said a thousand things she couldn't say to him just now.

Aaron stared at the Judge as he slowly began to nod his head,  
"Yeah erm...yeah that's correct."

"Okay." The Judge said softly instantly noticing the nervousness so present in the young boy's face."Mr Livesy you have been charged with the following: Possession of a firearm and attempted murder."

Aaron nodded again slowly, the gravity of the crimes hitting him hard as he stared to the ground in shame. Robert felt the same shame as he gripped his sister's hand tightly trying to fight back the tears that wanted to fall so easily.

"For the first charge, possession of a firearm. How do you plead?"

Instantly a wave of worry crashed through Aaron, knowing he was very much guilty of the first charge. It was frustrating for Aaron to even comprehend his guilt, at the end of the day he was only trying his best to protect his mum who seemed traumatised. His quick thinking had landed him in the middle of a court room and forced him to utter the one word that would sum him up in the eyes of the law.

"Guilty." Aaron whispered, overwhelmed with shame.

Robert's hand was shaking now, he hadn't prepared himself to hear Aaron say the words. He knew that Aaron could possibly utter them as time went on but it hadn't let it overwhelm him at all. Instead Robert had buried the possibility to the back of his mind.

"Guilty! What's he playing at?" Chas said worried by her son's words.

"Well he is, no point of lying - what good would that do eh."

"But look at him Cain, he looks like his ready to just give up! What if he pleads guilty to attempted murder as well!"

Adam shot Chas a nervous look before gulping hard,  
"He wouldn't do that. He couldn't do that to you."

Chas rolled her eyes as her eyes met Robert's,  
"Anything you want to say?"

Robert bit his lip before shaking his head slowly. He was lying of course. He had plenty to say to Chas something along the lines:"What the hell do you think your doing! He doesn't need you doubting him a minute before he speaks! Hold it together woman, everyone's worried, everyone's scared - including me"

"And for the second charge - for attempted murder, how do you plead?"

Aaron pulled his eyes away from the floor that he had now grown attached to, staring at the Judge, Aaron felt his insides burn. His next two words would decide how the next few weeks would go. His not guilty plea would set everything in motion, allowing him to be judged by the lawyers whose jobs were to discredit Aaron's moralistic attributes and force the jury to see how damaged and dangerous he was. Aaron ripped his eyes away from the Judge and turned them towards Robert's.

The power of Aaron's gaze hit Robert hard and made him feel sick with guilt. Tears were brimming in his ex lovers tears as Robert stared down at him, not daring to abandon the special secret moment they were sharing. The look they gave each other said a thousand things that couldn't be said - not now anyway. It summed up everything that Robert wanted it to, his slight half hearted attempt at a smile indicating to Aaron that things would be okay and that he believed him completely.

Aaron exhaled heavily,  
"I ... I didn't -" he said through a stream of tears that fell down his face.

"Mr Livesy?" The Judge said sternly.

Aaron turned back to the Judge before apologising quietly and fidgeting slightly.

"What did he say!" Chas whispered loudly leaning over to Victoria who was struggling to hear herself.

"Who?" Adam asked confused by Chas' question.

"Aaron!" Cain sighed, irratated by his step sons stupidity.

"He...he said he didn't, he didn't do it." Robert said his smile growing as he had finally got the confirmation he so desperately needed.

Aaron began to open his mouth slowly, the look that Robert had given him had allowed him to feel more secure about his decision. Suddenly another door swung open, the sound of heels hitting the ground echoed through the court room and stopped Aaron dead in his tracks.

"Sorry I'm late." The woman said grinning as she took a sit next at the end of the row, cautiously away from Chas and Cain. Clutching her small purse, the woman played with her smart ponytail before resting her hand on her lap "Haven't missed much I hope." She said with a sickly sweet smile spreading across her face.

Robert felt the anger she felt grow louder and louder inside him, his eyes glared at the woman who seemed completely unfazed by the severity of the situation. A row away from him sat Robert's perfectly content wife, Chrissie sat in anticipation reading to watch her husbands heart break as his ex lover delivered his plea to the Judge.

Chrissie couldn't help but smile wildly, she had front row seats and was allowed to witness her husbands ex lover squirm as she sat comfortably from above. It was the ultimate revenge, the perfect ending to the evil thoughts that swirled in her mind.

 

* * *

 

 

Aaron was completely shaken by Chrissie's presence, it made him feel guilty and shameful as he quickly glanced at the woman who's life he had destroyed.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Cain asked Chas quietly.

"Don't ask me!" Chas snapped back, looking at Chrissie who was almost glowing with happiness as she glared at Robert.

Robert couldn't look at her, he wouldn't give her the satisfaction she obviously wanted. Robert felt Victoria edging closer towards him,  
"Do you know why she's turned up?"

"No." Robert snapped rather loudly causing Chas to tut instantly. "Why would I?" He continued.

Victoria shrugged her shoulders,  
"I dunno she's your wife."

Robert scoffed,  
"Yeah and that means so much to both of us!"

Aaron began to panic badly, his mind became jumbled with memories he wanted to forget. The day he revealed everything to Chrissie fell to the front of his mind and caused him to bury his head in his hands. It was something he wanted to forget, the heartbreak and hatred he felt that overwhelmed him as he began listing the times he and Robert had been together. The memory was nothing more than a painful reminder of just how bad things could get for Aaron and how easily his actions could destroy something as strong as trust and love between two people.

"I...I -" Aaron stuttered, struggling to say anything anymore.

"Looks like he might admit it!" Chrissie said purposely loud enough for Aaron to hear. Aaron shut his eyes quickly trying to block out the woman's evil words.

"Excuse me Ms but if you carry on I'm going to have you escorted out of here."

Chas nodded quickly,  
"Too right! What the hell is she playing at?"

Robert shook his head in disgust, shocked at his wife's despicable behaviour.

"She's trying to get under his skin." He whispered to Victoria who was now giving the woman harsh looks along with Chas.

"Yeah well." Victoria said looking down at Aaron who was completely broken by her words "It looks like it's working Rob."

Robert gazed down again, Aaron still had his head in his hands and was now panting quickly almost trying to catch his breath yet failing every time.

Aaron was completely overwhelmed by the whole situation, the pity he felt from his family, the pain he knew that he was causing, the heartbreak still present every time he looked at Robert. Everything was spinning causing him to bend down slightly and grip the bar in front of him to steady his balance.

"Sir." The Judge said concerned for the man's wellbeing.

Robert stood up suddenly, tears spilling in his eyes as he looked at the broken mess of man below him,  
"Aaron," he whispered before Victoria stood up and put her arms around her older brother.

Chas and Cain rose from their seats with Adam doing the same,  
"Is he alright?' Adam asked panicking about his best friend who was still struggling to breathe. "Oi! Can you help me or what!" Adam shouted frustrated that the guards standing near Aaron were watching him continue to struggle for air.

"Oh my god Aaron!" Chas said pulling herself away from the bench and leaning over to see her son.

Aaron could hear his mums voice, the desperation so present. It made him feel even worse, he hated how much his mum was being effective because of him, knowing that it wasn't at all fair.

"I...I can't breathe," Aaron whispered, falling to the ground instantly.

"Aaron!" Robert shouted leaning over the stand desperately trying to reach him. Fresh tears fell as Victoria tried her hardest to pull him away, her attempts failed as her brother leaned even further down. "Do something!" He shouted as he watched the guards stare down at the prisoner in shock.

"You heard him." Cain said loudly, pulling his sister in tightly as she stared at him completely traumatised by her son's breakdown.

Adam peered down at his friends quickly before ripping his eyes away, he couldn't bare to see him so broken. His mind raced as he memories of Aaron's suicide attempt overwhelmed him. It had been years now but Adam still felt a shiver run down his spine as he thought about it, as he remembered just his weak his friend seemed that day.

"Okay whilst Mr Livesy gets the help he needs I'd like for the family to wait outside," the Judge said before hauling himself up from the large chair and striding to the door in the corner.

"Hang on a sec." Cain said loudly catching the Judge's attention quickly "How will we know if he's okay?"

"I'm sure the prison guards will inform you soon, in the mean time if you could just wait outside and let me carry on with the next case then we can see when Mr Livesy will be able to carry on."

Cain sighed before ushering Chas outside followed by Victoria and Adam. Robert stared down at Aaron who was now being lifted away by the guards, his heart ached for him. It wasn't faint and subtle, it was a loud beating disturbance that wouldn't stop. Aaron was taken away swiftly by the string guards and the room was completely silent once more, allowing Robert to feel a strange emptiness and eagerness to follow Aaron whether he was going.

The sound of Chrissie's heels walking towards him slowly ripped him away from his thoughts of being with Aaron,  
"What a shame," she whispered bending down to her husband menacingly.

Robert didn't look back at her instead he simply turned and ran towards the door, desperate to escape the room he was so eagerly wanted to enter less than thirty minutes ago.

Chrissie ran her fingers along the shiny gold bar her husband had pressed his hands in moments before as he anxiously gazed down at his former lover. Smiling brightly Chrissie strutted towards the door almost gleaming with pride as she past Aaron's devastated family and rested her back against the wall.

Her plan had worked she thought to herself as she saw the panic grow in her husbands eyes, as Robert ran his fingers through his hair - trying his best to calm himself down. Chrissie stared with delight, relishing in his pain as she realised that her husbands ultimate downfall wasn't too far away.

As time pressed on so did her happiness, her spiteful ideas were playing out perfectly and soon her husband's precious lover boy would be out of the picture for good...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh Chrissie just HAD to show her face...
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos given it means a lot <3


	4. Hospital.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron is taken to hospital and Robert makes a decision...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE appolgies for the lateness of this fic! Life really got in the way!

Aaron was laying flat on the hospital bed when he suddenly heard a familiar voice approach him, Robert was standing over him - worry so present in his eyes. Aaron stared longingly at the man wanting nothing more than to hold onto him tightly, wishing to forget the past and focus on the moment. Aaron simply sighed realising it would never be that simple, knowing that the dark memories he carried around with him because of Robert would never leave him - not properly anyway.

Robert edged closer towards him before, gently touching his cheek. The touch sent a shiver down his spine, the same sensation that Aaron felt the first time Robert had kissed him. Aaron tried his hardest to relax as Robert gazed at him wildly, gently caressing his neck and leaning in slowly.

The close proximity between the two men instantly made Aaron nervous, it had been a while since they were this close. This intimate. Hearing Robert's breathing intensify, Aaron edged away slightly - afraid of just how easily he could let Robert crash his lips into him.

Robert still stared at Aaron intensely, completely overwhelmed with love and guilt. "I'm sorry," he whispered closing his eyes as he repeated the two words over and over again. Each apology standing for a time where Robert caused Aaron pain.

 **"I'm sorry,"** \- _For making you think I didn't love you._

 **"I'm sorry,"** \- _For allowing you to take the blame for Katie and letting you deal with the guilt on your own._

 **"I'm sorry,"** \- _For Paddy._

 **"I'm sorry,"** \- _For Katie_.

 **"I'm sorry,"** \- _For ruining us._

 

Aaron gasped suddenly, pulling himself out of the dream he was so deeply effected by. A bittersweet feeling washed over him instantly as he remembered the way Robert had touched him, the words he had said so honestly.

Aaron blinked slowly as a beaming light almost blinded his vision. His mouth felt dry and his head was banging with pain, the memory of falling to the ground registered in his mind making him feel sick. He remembered everything so clearly, yet his mind showed him a fuzzy blur of the events. As he closed his eyes shut he could just made out the cries from the stands above him, he could hear Robert calling out his name. Aaron winced slightly recalling the frustration that ran through his body wildly as he lay on the ground hearing Robert call for him. He could remember the seriousness in his voice, the desperation as he pleaded with the guards to help him.

The sound of the door shutting forced Aaron to sit up sharply, he felt a rush of energy leave his body yet he still sat up with a look of nervousness in his eyes. Aaron pictured his mum racing toward him completely breaking down just like he did, the vision flashed round in his mind forcing him to breath erratically again. Aaron eased back down slowly as he saw it was only a guard, lazily leaning against the door probably bored out of his mind.

"Where...what happened?" Aaron whispered nervously.

"Hospital. You passed out." The guard said walking over to Aaron, playing with the handcuffs in his hand.

Aaron sighed slowly recalling the impact the fall had on him as he lay on the floor staring up at the court ceiling struggling to breath. Aaron's thoughts were stopped abruptly as he felt a handcuff clamp down on his arm that rested on the side of his hospital bed.

"Really? I couldn't walk less than an hour ago! Where am I supposed to go?"

The guard seemed completely unfazed by the young boys protest,  
"Procedure mate. Never know, you might decide to go have a walk around the hospital or something."

Aaron scoffed loudly as he saw how serious the guard was trying to be.

"Trust me I'm not going anywhere." Aaron muttered slowly leaning back on his bed "Anyways how could I get past you in my state?" Aaron snapped, pulling himself up from his bed instantly irritated by how ridiculous the handcuffs were.

"Well -" the guard was suddenly interrupted by the sound of the small radio crackling in his pocket. "Hold on." The guard whispered before turning his back towards Aaron who still was frustrated by the restriction the handcuffs gave him.

"What do you mean? I can't, not now. I'm with Mr Aaron Livesy at the hospital...yes turn for the worst in court...okay sergeant....yes he is handcuffed...right away sir."

Aaron squinted at the guard who was now trying to put the radio back in his pocket,  
"What was all that about?" Aaron shouted, gripping his bed sheets in frustration.

The guard sighed loudly, "There's something happening with another prisoner, here."

Aaron nodded slowly still confused,  
"Okay...what has that got to do with me?"

"This lad is causing hassle on the third floor and I need to go investigate. I shouldn't really but when I told my boss who I was with he agreed that you were not any sort of threat."

Aaron sat taken aback, confused by what exactly that all meant. Was it common knowledge that he was a fragile little flower who would never try to bust out of a hospital ward?

Aaron tutted loudly,  
"Great so ..."

"So I'll be about twenty minutes. You're chained and to be frank," the guard gave Aaron a concerned look "Not even in the best possible health."

Aaron rolled his eyes,  
"Yes I get it."

The guard nodded slowly realising that his words weren't helping the young mans state of mind, giving Aaron one final look, the guard quickly turned round and left the small room.

Aaron blinked slowly, the sound of the monitor beside him filling the hospital room with an eerie atmosphere. Aaron shut his eyes, trying his hardest to block out the sound that made his heart race - almost instantly Aaron felt the need to dive back into the dream he was cruelly ripped away from. It didn't work though, instead Aaron entered a dream that made him feel sick with worry and hurt.

  
This time Robert slammed through the doors, scaring Aaron almost instantly and causing him to cower in his bed. This time Robert edged towards him aggressively before leaning over him and spitting the words in his ex lovers ear. "You shot me."

Aaron stared up at Robert, his disbelief so present in his eyes. The words had shocked him to the core and made him feel a sense of guilt he knew he shouldn't have. This was the man who had destroyed them entirely, by lying and hurting the people he loved. Yet the three words had managed to stir up the emotions he had tried to forget about. It was cruel, he was cruel.

"I didn't ... I -" Aaron whispered, he was too late. Robert had already left the room and Aaron remained alone. Alone again.

Aaron pulled himself up from his bed, breathing heavily and panicking as he realised that his arm was attached to the bed he so desperately wanted to escape. The dream felt as if it was almost a punishment - a punishment for the beautiful dream he had before. It was inevitable Aaron thought as he lay back down trying to control the raw emotions he felt. This time allowing himself to drift off into a deep sleep, thankfully not included his ex lover at all...

 

* * *

 

 

Robert was pacing up and down the long corridor, pulling his finger through his hair as nervous energy raced through his body. Chrissie still sat some metres away from the frantic looking crowd, her smile intensified as she watched her husband almost wince with pain.

Victoria stood with Adam who seemed slightly traumatised by the whole day. Rubbing her hand over his back Victoria couldn't help but stare at Robert who seemed even more effected by Aaron's breakdown.

Robert closed his eyes suddenly, flashes of memories overwhelmed him as he recalled the Aaron's limp body! It was all too much to think about for Robert as he tried his hardest to block out the memory. It wasn't working. As Robert walked towards the window, all he could remember was how frail and weak Aaron looked, instantly his mind travelled back towards the first time he had seen Aaron complete broken and distraught. The time he found him in the woods all those months ago. It wasn't too dissimilar when Robert compared the two separate events, both had been indirectly caused by Robert and both had exposed the great innocence Aaron possessed.

Robert was pulled away from his thoughts by the touch of his sister, as she rested her hand on his back slowly,  
"You okay?"

Robert smiled weakly, trying to convince himself been more than his sister,  
"Are you sure Rob. I can see it in your eyes."

Robert sighed resenting his clearly obvious, transparency,  
"I'm ..." Robert couldn't bring himself to tell his sister how he felt just now, it felt especially wrong when his eyes met Chas who had just managed to calm down.

Robert sighed, calming himself down trying his best to compose himself before talking to his little sister,  
"I'm okay."

Victoria knew that the blunt reply was a serious hint from her older - he didn't want to talk about Aaron anymore clearly. Instead of continuing to talk about the events, Victoria decided to make small talk instead in an attempt to calm her brother's nerves.

The conversation was quickly interrupted by the mumbling of a man dressed in a blue suit, who was turning his attention towards Cain and Chas.

"Er...are you the family of Mr Livesy?"

Robert turned towards them sharply, instinct quickly taking over, Robert wasted no time in running over to the man.

"How is he? Is he going to be okay?" Robert asked quickly.

Chas shot him an intense glare,  
"I'm his mum I'll ask the questions here!" Chas snapped before turning to the man again who stared rather shocked by the hatred in the woman's voice.

"Um...he is stable, seemed to have suffered from a mild panic attack which caused him to pass out."

Robert exhaled slowly, overcome with relief as he felt a sense of self hate leave him.

Chrissie rolled her eyes from a distance, her cold heart hated the fact that Aaron was probably laying on a hospital bed with his feet up, content with knowing that he had missed his court day and could possibly bag another night in the comfy bed, a room all to himself. Chrissie hadn't taken the hint yet, still sitting comfortably enjoying the pain her husband was going through. It was almost fuelling her happiness. Robert didn't dare stare at her, scared that if she saw how weak he was, she would never let him forget it.

The sound of Chrissie's heels dragged across the floor as she slipped in next to Robert slowly,  
"Looks like he'll be just fine sweetie." Chrissie squeezed Robert's shoulder menacingly causing him to shudder slightly "What a shame," she whispered. "I'll be going now, fill me in wont you." Chrissie smiled before patting his back slightly and walking away down the marble stairs and out of the court room almost instantly lifting tension, as of a bad omen had just disappeared.

Chas eased the tension created in her shoulders,  
"Oh thank god! So what's going to happen with this plea?"

"Exactly," the man sighed, before pulling out a few sheets of paper from his overfilled briefcase "Now your son has two options in the eyes of the law. He could either decide to continue with his hearing in a few hours or he could chose to cancel the plea due to his health scare."

Robert nodded slowly,  
"And what do you suggest he does?"

"Well. Considering the nature of the charges, lawyers will need as much time as possible to prepare for the trial which should be taking place in a matter of weeks. Therefore, I advise that Mr Livesy chooses to state his plea later on today."

"He's in hospital for a reason...I mean is he fit enough to even make his plea today?" Robert said with a nervous tone present in his voice.

"I've just heard from the hospital that he is fit enough to be discharged." The man said turning his attention to the man who seemed particularly worried.

"So when will you tell him? When will he chose what he wants to do?" Adam said holding onto Victoria's hand anxiously.

"Aaron's solicitor will tell him as soon as possible."

Chas fidgeted with her coat slightly,  
"Can we see him? I mean is there any point if he's only gonna come back here in a bit?" Cain asked.

"Of course you can but as you said, the likelihood of Aaron being taken back here in an hour or so is high." The man said politely before excusing himself from the family and walking towards another group of people further up the hallway.

Robert looked down towards the ground, trying his hardest to avoid Chas' strong hard glare that seemed to be following him round the room as he edged further away from the angry mother.

 

Ten minutes passed and Chas and Cain had made their way down the flights of stairs, getting coffees and finally able to gossip even more about the man they both despised. It didn't take long for Adam to leave the hall as well, racing down the stairs as he got a call from Vanessa about how well Johnny is doing, Victoria had waited with Robert who was now completely drained by the day.

"Do you want me to stay with you here? Adam's just popping by the hospital to see Johnny." Victoria asked, placing her hand on her older brothers shoulder slowly.

Robert sighed, shutting his eyes hard as his head banged wildly,  
"Er no it's fine...go with Adam."

Victoria pulled away from her brother,  
"Are you sure? Look I've taken the day off we could both go grab a coffee out of here if you'd like"

Robert smiled weakly, the idea seemed great. Spending time with his little sister, as they chatted away about rubbish, trying to distract themselves from the issues at hand. It seemed perfect, but Robert knew that he couldn't forget things so easily. The idea felt wrong and odd in his mind as he mulled over the suggestion - how could he spend his afternoon lounging around in a cafe when Aaron would be laying in a hospital bed?

Robert nodded slowly,  
"No I...I should be here for Aaron."

Victoria rolled her eyes, frustrated by her brother's growing belief in Aaron that was only making him appear weaker and more tired,  
"Rob! You were shot, not him. You should be looking after yourself!"

"Oh yeah like I never look our for number one," Robert laughed rather loudly prompting Chrissie to tut loudly. "Come on Vic, it's the story of my life!"

Victoria sighed loudly, waving her arms around,  
"He isn't even here! He might not even come back at all."

"I know." Robert said before staring towards the ground, instantly a thought entered his head.

_He couldn't, could he?_

"Your right Vic, me being here isn't doing him any good is it?"

Victoria smiled almost beaming with pride as she tried to drag her brother away from the court room and down the stairs.

Robert moved his hand away from Victoria suddenly, causing her to stare at him annoyed by his outburst,  
"Me being here...I was so scared about...what he would say. Aaron. But I knew straight away...straight away Vic."

Victoria stared at her brother confused by his ramblings,  
"What are you on about Rob?"

"He didn't shoot me. He...he didn't. I need to be there for him, I need to see him because...because I'm scared that he might just give up and tell them he did it."

"So what are you saying Robert? You're going to the hospital or what?"

Robert felt his heart race wildly,  
"Yeah. I'm going to see Aaron and I won't leave until I know the truth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up soon (I promise!) X


	5. Visitor.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert arrives at the hospital, but what will he say? And how will Aaron react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little chapter...

Aaron rolled over slightly, finally awakening from his comfortable sleep. Aaron opened his eyes slowly and noticed that the guard had still not returned so he was still shackled to the bed. The door sprung open and in came a petite nurse with a sharp looking man standing behind her.

"Just coming to see how your feeling?" She asked softly, checking Aaron's monitor.

Aaron pulled himself up so that he was sitting up right,  
"Do you know where the guard is?" Aaron mumbled, still slightly sleepy.

"Yes he came in about five minutes ago," the man behind the nurse stepped forward and was now closer to Aaron's bed "You were asleep and he said he needed to sort out some paper work at the station."

Aaron grew more and more frustrated by the nurses gentle voice,  
"Hang on! You're telling me that his just popped off and left me chained to a bed?"

The nurse was startled by Aaron's angry tone and decided to pull herself away from his monitor,  
"He said he'd be back in a bit. There was an incident upstairs -”

"I know," Aaron snapped loudly cutting the nurse off rather bluntly, the nurse continued to smile weakly forcing Aaron to feel guilty "Sorry I'm just...chained up here like some sort of animal. I'm not going anywhere!"

"It's true." The man now beside the kind nurse.

Aaron turned his hard round slowly as he faced the man who was now fumbling with his papers "Who are you?"

"I've been sent by the court to check on how your doing," the man said pulling his hand in front of Aaron "Charlie Willow."

Aaron stared at the rather young man who seemed overly eager and excited. Aaron shook his hand and sighed slowly before asking exactly what he wanted.

' _I've been sent by the court_ '

Aaron winced slowly, for a moment the sleep had managed to make him forget the traumatic event. He had been able to completely relax, this time without the threat of upsetting his family or seeing his ex lover looming over him. Yet five words had changed his mod suddenly, the very mention of the place made his stomach churn.

Instantly Aaron begin to feel anxious, remembering what had happened only a few hours ago. Seeing Robert. It had hit him harder than he ever expected it to, he could still see his face, hear the desperation in his voice that made him feel odd and almost sick with nervousness.

The nurse stared at the monitor with concern written all over her face as Aaron's heart rate increased rapidly,  
"Are you alright there love?"

"I'm just confused," Aaron said softly staring at the kind nurse before turning back round to the man "Are they rescheduling?"

The man shook his head slowly "Well this is why I'm here really, normally the plea would just take place in a couple of weeks time but due to the nature of the crime and the fact that the police need to know if any more inquires need to be made in the event of your charge.."

Aaron slowly began to drown out the words the man was saying rather quickly, he realised soon what he wanted to ask. He needed to go back. Today. As soon as possible.

"So you want me to do it today?"

The man hesitated slightly, cautious of the young man's fragile looking state,  
"Well," the man stared to the nurse shyly "We have checked with the doctor and he is happy to let you go. Your...your panic attack...he said you need rest but I'll sort that out when you go back to the holding cell."

The nurse lifted her head slightly,  
"Have you seen the state of him! He needs rest, proper rest."

Aaron smiled weakly, touched by the nurses concern which reminded him of his mothers constant worry.

The man winced almost bruised by the comment, you could tell that the man wasn't used to dealing with people like this. He seemed more like the office help as he stumbled on his words. "Whilst I appreciate this, we...it would benefit Mr Livesy if plea's today and then allows the proceedings to take place as quickly as possible."

The nurse huffed loudly, before being distracted by her small beeper which made her race out the room frantically.

"Aaron this is entirely your choice but I must stress -"

"Fine. I'll...I'll go back." Aaron snapped, pulling himself back down on his bed almost burying himself in the sheets "Send the doc round so I can sign the papers," he mumbled before turning back round to face the wall.

The man smiled weakly, thankful for Aaron's cooperation,  
"Certainly Mr Livesy." The man walked towards the door before turning back round again "I... I have to go back to the court to tell them your decision, it isn't that far as you know" Aaron rolled his eyes, the man was bumbling on about rubbish once more "Anyways I'll let the nurses know when I'll be back to get you." Charlie Willows nervously left the room quietly.

Once again Aaron was alone.

 

* * *

 

 

Aaron gulped hard forcing the sickish feeling back down his throat and trying his hardest not to over think the events of the day. The falling sensation, the cries from above, the powerful connection he felt when his head hit the ground. Aaron sighed slowly, telling himself that it would all be over as soon as he made his plea.

Robert's heart was racing frantically as he slowly walked towards the ward he knew Aaron was on, out of the corner of his eye a police officer was seen almost wrestling with a female patient. Robert smirked, before realising that the policeman might have been assigned to Aaron. The thought made him panic slightly, thinking that Aaron would be all alone without even the safety of a police guard.

The policeman struggled with the wild woman and Robert could just about hear the sound of his small radio crackling on his chest: 'Mr Livesy will need to be brought back to court in half an hour, will you able to do escort him?'

  
Robert gulped, the man from court was right Aaron would have to make his plea today. Aaron would have to face the judge once again after his panic attack and the dread and fear so present in his eyes. It was cruel and Aaron didn't deserve it.

The policeman was breathing heavily now trying to reach for the radio,  
"Er...um...I...may need assistance." The officer heaved gripping hold of the woman who was now walking towards the large window in the room.

Robert shook his head, angry that this particular police officer seemed complete incompetent and just so happened to be responsible for Aaron. Walking towards Aaron's hospital room, Robert felt overwhelmed with fear.

_What would he say? What could he say?_

Aaron was in hospital because of him right? Aaron took one look at his ex lover and fell to his knees (not in the way he used to) How selfish could he be? Robert didn't spare a thought for Aaron, not one.

  
All he cared about was seeing him and finally knowing the truth, not for Aaron's sake but for his. The need for answers had overwhelmed Robert and clouded his better judgement. Robert sighed slowly as he realised how self absorbed he had been and how it didn't shock him in the slightest.

The realisation didn't make him feel any differently, he knew exactly who he was, he knew that he always thought about himself. But as he stared into Aaron's room and saw how small and weak he seemed, every thought, every feeling escaped Robert's own body and launched itself into Aaron's. At once Robert felt nothing but worry and concern for Aaron. It was all that he could think about.

  
This man who was fully aware of his selfish, arrogant qualities found himself behaving completely selfless. Completely uninterested in anything but the lover he saw through the small window.

Robert caught his breath quickly as he walked slowly though the hospital door, pushing it open and shutting it slowly behind him. He hadn't been as close to Aaron since before the shooting, the lodge had been the last time he had felt Aaron's touch and was able to openly run his fingers down Aaron's hair.

Robert wanted nothing more than to reach out for Aaron, hold him tightly and tell him that he knew he was completely innocent. Despite the warnings from Victoria and Diane, Robert wanted nothing more than to defend Aaron as much as Cain or Chas. He needed to stand by him. He owed him that much.

Aaron was in a light sleep, when he opened his eyes and felt someone in the room. Aaron bit his lip and continued to stare the other way, looking at the beeping monitors and wondering who it was. He waited for a few seconds, waiting got a nurse to walk round and ask him to sign a few papers. But nothing happened. The silence in the room was only interrupted every few minutes by the sound of the monitor, Aaron could hear the persons breathing. It was low and heavy. It seemed as if the person was either out of breath or nervous about being there.

Aaron gulped slowly before taking a leap of faith and turning round to face the person in the room.

Aaron felt his heart flutter slightly as he gazed up at a nervous looking Robert who was shuffling slightly on his feet,  
"Robert, is that you?" Aaron said softly, instantly thinking that his mind was messing with his thoughts again. Why would Robert be in his hospital room?

The man who nearly died. The man who spat those insults at him, the man who Aaron knew would never change his wicked ways. It was too confusing for Aaron to think about, his head was already spinning because of the fall earlier but now it seemed as if the whole room was spinning with him. The only clear image in Aaron's mind was Robert. Robert who appeared the same way as he did in court, a weak smile spread across the older man's face almost as if the smile had the power to ease the growing tension in the room.

Robert bit down on his lip the way Aaron did normally, there was no words to say. Not really. Not when he thought about honestly. He couldn't say what he wanted to see could he? How could he spill out his true feelings after everything he had done to Aaron? What was he thinking?

' _What are you doing here? Are you mad?_ '

  
The voices cluttered Robert's mind quickly, instantly making him feel a sense of deep guilt that wasn't disappearing as quickly as he wanted. It was growing as Robert recalled the things he had done in his mind.

Yet regardless of this all, Robert hadn't moved a muscle, as if his feet were stuck to the floor. Something was telling him to stay, maybe it was the innocence in Aaron's eyes or the flashing of the monitor in the corner of the room. Robert didn't know exactly what it was but he knew that he couldn't leave. Not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned...


	6. Confessions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Robert get to say what he wants to, will Aaron let him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;)

"Aaron I..." Robert was fumbling on his words, struggling to come up with a response.

"Robert." Aaron sat up quickly, before sighing as the metal chains attached to his wrist restricted him to the small bed. "Leave."

  
Robert blinked quickly, the word stung him sharply almost cussing him to back away, but he couldn't make it that easy. Robert thought back to the abuse he said to Aaron only a couple of months ago, how Aaron had managed to stay calm for most of the time. How? Robert thought to himself. How could Aaron be so calm when a single word had managed to tear at Robert's heart so easily?

"No." Robert said adamant that he wasn't leaving things the way they were "No Aaron please just let me -"

Aaron felt his blood boil with anger, the sheer decisiveness of Robert had made Aaron felt sick with hatred. Aaron took a while to examine his ex lover before responding. Searching his body before instantly looking at his chest, Aaron winced slightly as he realised what would be under neath. A scar, a wound that would never heal. Aaron shook his head slowly before staring at the man square in the face. "I said get out Robert, what part of that don't you get?"

Robert sighed quietly trying his hardest not to aggravate his ex lover any more "Just let me say what I need to say -"

Aaron scoffed loudly regaining some strength "I think you've said enough don't you."

Robert stared wide eyed at Aaron, shocked by how blunt Aaron had been,  
"Yeah I've been a non stop chatter box recently. You know being in a coma has that effect on you."

Aaron rolled his eyes before shaking his head slowly, he had been waiting for Robert mention it. Waiting for him to draw attention back to himself like always,  
"Oh I was wondering when you'd play the whole sympathy card." Robert went to speak but Aaron beat him to it, not done with what he wanted to say "You said more than enough before anyone shot ya."

Robert nodded slowly, he couldn't disagree with the man laying down in the hospital bed. It was all true. Every single bit.

Robert knew exactly what Aaron referring to. Of course it had to be the conversation at the scrap yard that happened on the day of his shooting. The lies that Robert spat, the lies that had managed to resonate in Aaron's mind for so long. Robert gulped hard wondering if Aaron would ever be able to forget about the conversation.

Yet how could he? How could Aaron possibly forget? All at once Robert realised he never would forget, he never would forgive.

  
"Aaron I -" Robert edged closer almost whispering to Aaron who was now sitting up straighter and avoiding Robert's stare. "I just wanted to know if you were okay -"

Aaron shut his eyes slowly, the anger building more and more inside him. How could Robert ask such a question, was he that delusional? Aaron's mind raced back to the court scene, the way he fell so dramatically and how loud the screams were from the stands. How loud Robert's voice had been, how frantic it sounded.

Aaron's mind raced back to his running days and the worry that Robert felt for him. He remembered the nervousness in his tone and the anxiousness in his eyes, it was all so clear, all so familiar. Aaron recalled his own hesitation to trust Robert, the fear he almost had when Robert voiced his concern. The questions he would ask himself whenever Robert gave him a worried look.

_Does he really care?_

_Is he lying?_

 

The same questions were swirling round his head once again as he lay down on his hospital bed, as if nothing had changed. Of course it had, everything had changed apart from the confusion in Aaron's mind. Still, after all these months - after the confessions of love and the secret moments and hidden kisses - Aaron's confusion hadn't wavered at all - not really.

Of course he had tried to tell himself that it had gone away, that with every kiss and every touch - the painful feeling hidden inside, the deep uncertainty of Robert's concern and love had managed to melt away. Yet it hadn't, the lies and the confessions had only increased the feeling inside. After the lodge and the truth about Katie was revealed - the feeling had been inflamed. And it was burning now...burning bright.

The beeping of the monitor once more managed to drag Aaron away from his thoughts. Robert was now even closer still trying to formulate a proper sentence.

Aaron huffed loudly growing tired of the chains that shackled him to his bed and made it so hard to physically make Robert leave,  
"That's it." Aaron lunged to the side of his bed struggling to press the large red button on the side hat would alert the nurses, instantly Robert launched himself towards the button.

For a moment, just a moment, Robert found his fingers trailing against Aaron's. The touch was brief, only lasting a few seconds, yet it felt like hours had passed as Robert gazed at Aaron. Yes hatred was still there, betrayal and hurt yet as he looked closer he saw something familiar. He saw a hint of passion that reminded him of their secret meetings all those months ago, back when the threat of Katie finding out about their affair was the biggest thing stopping them from being together. If only it was that simple now.

 

* * *

 

 

Aaron was still staring at Robert in disbelief, he hated how much power Robert thought he had in comparison to him, the way Robert could so easily forcibly move Aaron's hand out the way and block the button with his own. Yet as much as Aaron wanted to see the control and power in Robert eyes, all he really saw was desperation. This desperate need for Aaron to listen to him, as if his own life depended on it. Aaron ripped his eyes away slowly, moving his hand away and watching as Robert let out a sigh of relief.

Robert edged towards the bed, this time consciously keeping his distance from the younger man who seemed incredibly annoyed already.

"You're not gonna leave are you?" Aaron snapped.

Robert shook his head quickly "Nope, not until I tell you what...what I need to tell you before...before it's too late."

"Too late? Too late, don't you think it's too late already. I'm going to my plea in a bit. Again. I'm facing attempted murder and now you think it's the right time to tell me what you want. I don't need this. I don't need you Robert."

Robert felt his heart race, it was too much to bare. But he couldn't leave, he wouldn't,  
"It's not too late Aaron because -"

Aaron sighed loudly, annoyed that his harsh comments hadn't forced Robert out the door yet,  
"Urgh you're so selfish you know that? Coming to the court today to see if I was guilty or not, for _you_ , for yourself! Not because you actually gave a toss about me. And now you turn up here, because _you_ need to get something off your chest! You're selfish and...you'll never change." Aaron let his emotions get the better of him, tears spilling down quickly as he tried to wipe them away forcibly.

"That's not true! I turned up today because I wanted to see you! I needed to see you." Robert felt himself begin to well up slightly, tears forming in his eyes as he continued "I...I was so scared Aaron."

Aaron felt his chin wobble as he saw how innocent Robert appeared, yet he couldn't give in, he wouldn't back down and allow himself to feel anything but hate for the man "And I wasn't? You don't...you don't know what...what it was like in there for me. No one does."

Robert turned towards the door, tears spilled quickly and he couldn't bare the thought of Aaron seeing him so weak. He didn't deserve his sympathy.

"I was scared that...that you'd say something like that. That I'd see you and...and you'd like some broken little toy too weak to stand on his own two feet. Or that you...you would be the opposite, that you would be all strong and...like you didn't even care."

Aaron let his lip quiver, struck but the honest words Robert was saying. It was all too much,  
"Of course I'd care! After Katie, after what I did for Jackson ...you saw how I was, how could you think that I'd be able to do something like that? - to kill someone that I lov-"

Robert lifted his head up as he heard what Aaron was about to say, his heart was trembling like mad. What was Aaron going to say? Love or loved? He craved to know more, he needed to know right now.

Aaron dropped his head quickly, avoiding Robert's desperate gaze entirely.

Robert couldn't think of anything else but the last word Aaron had just said, the silence that was filling the room manages to make the thought seem even more prominent. Robert tried to relax himself, thinking back to the betrayal present in Aaron's voice, the way he seemed so hurt by the thought of Robert doubting him.

Instantly the need to reassure Aaron overwhelmed him,  
"I...I never thought it was you, not really. I just...I didn't know what to think. Vic and Diane they...they tried to make me believe it was you. They tried to make me accept it but I...I'm weak and I just kept telling myself that if it wasn't you then...then there is still someone out there who wants me dead. Who wanted to kill me that night."

Aaron gulped hard, the words were beginning to soften him slightly. The tension built in his shoulders relaxed slowly as he slouched back on his bed,  
"I get it. I get why you'd want to think it was me. God a part of me thinks this is some sort of payback."

Robert stared at Aaron confused by what he meant,  
"Payback? For what?"

"Katie. You said you didn't kill her, but I didn't believe you. I'm still not too sure...and now I'm in the same position. Now I have to convince people I didn't try and kill you."

Robert swallowed hard, he had never considered the thought before. He had never actually realised how the tables had turned to swiftly over the last few months. How Aaron was labelled as a psychotic man capable of murder in the papers and yet Robert was deemed the guiltier party by the village, by Andy but most importantly by himself.

"Katie was different Aaron you know that." Robert mumbled searching Aaron's eyes to try and see if Aaron had listened to him at all.

Aaron let out a heavy sigh, the mention of Katie had managed to drain him completely. It was a subject that would always have that effect on him.

Looking at Robert, Aaron could see the desperation in his eyes, silence was growing and time was ticking by - Robert knew he couldn't leave, he still had more to say,  
"When I saw you today...I... all that doubt in you, it...it just went away. Seeing you...like that, looking so lost and alone I knew that you couldn't do that to me."

Aaron stared up at Robert who was now shifting about on his feet,  
"I knew that you were innocent."

Aaron didn't know what to think. A part of him was singing with joy, happy that Robert believed him. But yet the other part of him was filling with anger. Why? Why did Robert Sugden's opinion matter so much? He hated him, hated everything about him right? So why did he feel this way, why did he feel a sense of relief when Robert had just muttered those words ' _I knew that you were innocent'_

It shouldn't have mattered but it did. He still mattered. Aaron became overwhelmed with emotions, emotions he couldn't control. The best thing to do was to lash out, make him leave, it was the only way Aaron could get rid of these warm feelings buried inside.

"Well cheers mate, your opinion makes all the difference doesn't it!" Aaron snapped staring at Robert who looked deeply hurt by Aaron's words once more. He wasn't budging though, he was staying completely still, allowing Aaron to continue.

"Who do you think you are? Coming in here and telling me that you know I'm innocent! Like it even matters, like you even matter. I don't care about what you think, so do one!"

Robert felt his heart race, Aaron was practically seething with anger and hatred for him,  
"I might not matter to you but you still...I still -"

"Still what Robert! Care?" Aaron scoffed loudly "Please, give me a break! You came here because you wanted to see me at my weakest" Aaron waved his arms around the room "look where I am eh, my favourite place according to you. Poor little messed up Aaron."

Robert shut his eyes instantly remembering the words he had once said, the cruel mean words that now made him feel sick with anger. Aaron had remembered every insult, every lie that Robert told - how could they move past this?

Aaron was done with his angry words, laying back down on the bed and watching as Robert edged towards the door quietly,  
"Go on leave! And I swear to God if I see you in that court later on-" Aaron stopped as he looked up and saw Robert's expression.

His eyes were open wide and his face was titled to one side as he tried to hold back the tears spilling down his cheeks,  
"Fine whatever," Robert whispered moving towards the door before turning back round to face Aaron. "I know I've hurt you so badly, time and time and time again...I've ruined us. I've lied to you so many times..."

Aaron bit down on his lip,  
"You don't say."

"But if the police don't find out who shot me...I might never see you again."

Aaron bent his head, allowing himself to succumb to the emotions he was holding in so tightly.

Robert was sobbing slightly now,  
"And...and maybe that's - that's a good thing because I don't want to hurt you anymore. But...I want you to be happy Aaron, and I can't live with myself knowing that...you won't be-because of this. Because someone...wanted me dead and...and you took the fall for it."

Aaron lifted his head noticing the pain in Robert's expression, in that moment it felt like nothing else mattered apart from comforting his older lover. Holding him tightly and trying to wash away the guilt he knew that Robert would always feel. But he couldn't allow himself to think this way, Robert didn't deserve his sympathy. Not one bit.

"Don't worry about it." Aaron sniffed softly "In a few week-maybe months...you'll meet someone and you'll do your best to make up for every single bad thing you did to me. And you won't deserve them...but they'll stay because you won't give them a reason not to." Aaron whispered, the image of Robert with someone else pained him more than he thought, but he had to get used to the idea.

 

Aaron would spend his life behind bars and Robert would move on...

 

A voice in Aaron's head told him to carry on, he needed to make Robert realise that things would never be the same regardless of the plea in court or the length of time in prison; Robert would never fully understand just how badly things could never work out and he needed to know. He needed a final message to resonate in his mind.

"But then...one day you'll slip." Robert lifted his head slowly "You'll slip up...and they'll see the real you...the scared little pathetic boy who doesn't know what to do when someone loves him with all their heart...and then you'll be all alone again...all alone with no one to love you...then maybe you'll think of me. Maybe just maybe you'll realise just how badly you ruined us. Just how badly you nearly destroyed me, and you'll be sorry."

Robert felt numb, numb to the hurtful words and home truths that Aaron was delivering without a care in the world. Everything he said, every single word was true.

Robert stayed silent for a moment, allowing himself to image his life with someone else. Someone new. He tried to picture himself falling in love again, and then breaking their heart once more, but he couldn't. The thought became a blur, how could he ever move on? Realising that this could be his future, he could be alone once again and it scared him.

' _It scares me being alone'_

"I wouldn't do that." Robert said bluntly whilst he rubbed away his tears.

"Wouldn't do what? Meet someone else?" Aaron said.

Robert shook his head slowly bending his head towards the ground. Aaron laughed quietly,  
"Well you've already said you had other lads on the go so-"

Robert lifted his head sharply,  
"I was lying. Of course I was lying, it was only you. I couldn't be with anyone else, not like that."

"Anyone except your wife that is." Aaron snapped.

"I couldn't just move on and forget about this. Us."

Aaron looked up at Robert slowly,  
"Guilt. I didn't think I could ever move on after Jackson but I did."

"It isn't just guilt Aaron! It's more than that okay!" Robert snapped looking at Aaron and realising that he probably didn't understand what he was trying to tell him.

"What then? Your pride eh? Wouldn't want to get with anyone else so soon after your wife left you and your secret gay lover got banged up." Aaron sighed almost smiling as he realised that this was the exact reason.

Robert shook his head angrily, is this what Aaron really thought?

"No not because of that Aaron!" Robert whispered quickly.

Aaron huffed loudly, Robert had practically forced himself into staying in the room on a promise that he had to say what he needed to say, yet now he was almost mute.

"Then what? Why couldn't you just move on and forget about all of this? Just forget about me and find some other mug to screw over!" Aarom was shouting now even more frustrated then before.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU THAT'S WHY!" Robert shouted staring at Aaron desperately "BECAUSE I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND...THE THOUGHT OF BEING WITH ANYONE ELSE...I COULDN'T..."

 

Aaron was in shock, complete shock. After everything how could Robert still love him. Still be in love with him? Aaron was almost panting now, a familiar sick sort of sensation moving through his body. This was the fifth time. The fifth time that Robert had said those words, and yet Aaron still had not got used to the feeling that rushed through his body the moment after Robert uttered the words. Robert seemed completely broken, disheveled even, as if the declaration had managed to drain him completely.

Aaron could only shake his head, it was the only thing he was capable of doing in that moment,  
"You...you can't...you can't love me."

Robert knelt his head down slowly, he knew exactly what Aaron was meaning to say. He knew he didn't actually mean that he wasn't capable of loving him, Aaron was trying to tell him that he couldn't love him back. It was Aaron's ways of telling Robert that he could never openly admit to loving him again, not now. Maybe not ever.

The words cut deep, deep into Robert's heart, he knew that it was true,  
"I can't help it." Robert panted trying to fight back the emotions letting rip, "I can't make it stop like you can."

Aaron lifted his head up and raised his voice quickly,  
"What you think I can? You think that's what I've done!"

Aaron didn't know how to feel. Not really. Here was the man who was still in love with him, saying that he could never switch off his feelings. Yet there was bitterness behind each word, Robert thought that Aaron could easily just forget and move on didn't he?

How wrong he was. How very wrong...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos for this story, nearly finished now.


	7. Lies.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will Aaron say back? Will Robert's words change his mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter :( I hope that you enjoy it!

Aaron felt a thudding sensation drill through his body as he realised how hyprocital he had been. Only a few minutes ago he had practically told Robert how his life would pan out, which involved him moving on so soon after everything - and he had been shocked by Robert's reply "THE THOUGHT OF BEING WITH ANYONE ELSE...I COULDN'T..."

Yet now as Robert told him that he couldn't forget his feelings and move on like he had, made him feel almost sick with anger and confusion. How could Robert think that he had forgotten?

Robert stared at Aaron with a confused look on his face. Aaron's face was once again full of passion and anger - the look he craved badly.

"Well of course you have. You've forgotten all about us." Robert said sadly slouching his head towards the floor. The words scared him slightly as he repeated them softly to himself, it was exactly what he thought - yet saying his thoughts aloud had scared him to the core.

"Forgotten?" Aaron sighed slowly "Every time I close my eyes I see you. Holding a gun to my head, shooting Paddy, killing Katie. It scares me so much." Aaron had tears forming once more in his eyes yet this time he let them race down his face and watched as they fell on his white sheets.

Robert gulped hard, the unwelcoming memories came flooding back.

"And then sometimes..." Aaron shifted slightly watching as Robert struggled to keep still "Sometimes when I close my eyes...I see you differently. I see the Robert that...that I thought I knew. I see us at Home Farm that week, or you telling me that you believed in me, or…the way you were when I fell in the woods that time. Caring and...and selfless. And you know what?"

Robert blinked hard, he remembered it all. He remembered how kind and caring Aaron made him and it made him feel sick with guilt and regret. He knew exactly how he could be, he knew exactly the man who he had the ability to become - Aaron made him see that.

"What?"

Aaron breathed in slowly as the chains of the handcuffs rattled quietly,  
"That scares me even more...because it reminds me of why I love you. And then I wake up and...and I remember that...that it was all a lie, that everything you did wasn't really you."

Robert felt his heart beat out of his chest loudly, the things Aaron was saying made him feel sad. Sad. After months of wishing and waiting for Aaron to tell him that he loved him too, and now the moment had finally come Robert wished for nothing more than for Aaron to take it back. He didn't want the type of love that Aaron felt for him, it was sad and unhealthy.

Sick and twisted and nothing like the love Robert felt for him.

"This...this isn't right Aaron."

"I know. Of course I know. Look at me I'm a mess!"

"Yeah I know. I know you are and I know it's all down to me." Robert blurted out quickly.

"Hate me Aaron. Just hate me please." Robert begged.

Aaron blinked hard and titled his head back,  
"I do. Of course I hate you. After everything you've done, how couldn't I?" Robert blinked slowly. "But that isn't the problem here. The problem is...I still love you too. I hate ya but I still love you after...after everything you've done. You're still somehow...you still matter."

Robert sighed slowly,  
"Aaron what...what am I supposed to do?" Robert moved closer to Aaron's face, desperately begging him to take it all back.

"You don't love me Aaron. You don't anymore, not after everything."

Aaron rolled his eyes,  
"Don't tell me what to feel! I wish I didn't love you. I hate it, I hate how I feel about you, and I might be confused about other things yeah...but I know that I must love ya."

"No I know how your feeling, I felt the same after everything happened with Chrissie but -"

"Excuse me? Are you really trying to compare how I feel to the way you felt after cheating on your wife!"

"Just listen okay! I thought I still loved her...I thought that by getting her a good solicitor and...and helping her run the business I was proving my love somehow, and I didn't question how it looked from the outside because...because I loved her. But I didn't, I thought I did. I thought I loved her just like you think you love me...but you don't."

"Then what do I feel then? Oh wise one."

"You're terrified right. You're facing prison and then you see me and...everything you thought you felt comes rushing back, no wonder you think that there could be something still there. But there isn't"

Aaron saw the desperation in Robert's eyes, he was almost pleading with Aaron to tell him that he didn't love him. As if he needed Aaron to hate him in order for anything else to happen.

"Just get out Robert, I've had enough." Aaron sighed rolling over in his bed as best he could.

"Aaron please -" Robert begged, leaning over and brushing his sheets slightly.

"I get it. You still love me and I still love you. But we can't ever be together Robert. Not ever." Aaron said harshly as if the words hadn't effected him at all. Of course they had but he couldn't tell Robert that.

"Don't...you don't get it okay you don't love me!"

"Typical Robert, I can't love you because _you_ can't handle it. Because you're afraid that it gives ya and excuse to want me." Aaron said seething almost as he realised how selfish Robert really was.

"No no Aaron I'm tryna save you. I'm trying to make you see that you couldn't possibly love me. It's...it's all in your head."

Aaron scoffed loudly,  
"I wish it was. I hate you Robert...so much. But...apart of me can't help but love you." Aaron sighed.

It wasn't enough for Robert, he needed to hear the words. 'I don't love you' yet he knew it wouldn't come from Aaron's lips. He was stubborn when he wanted to be. Robert almost laughed at how ridiculous the situation sounded, a few months ago the thought of Aaron hating him and admitting that he didn't love him would have broken his heart yet now he almost craved it. He craved the rejection, he needed it.

"Please Aaron...please just hate me. If you just hate me and don't love me at all then maybe...I can't...it would help me...help me try and see that there isn't any hope left for us - I could try and accept it maybe." Robert sobbed.

Aaron felt the pain from Robert, it was raw and unwanted. How could he feel sorry for the man who had been responsible for so much of the pain and heartache he had endured over the past year. This is exactly what Aaron was trying to say, he hated how frustrated he became as he tried he contain this overwhelming need to make things better for Robert. He was facing a life sentence and was lying in a hospital bed yet Robert wounded after being shot was the only thing on his mind. The picture of Robert laying so innocently on the cold ground had managed to sway his negative thoughts surrounding his ex lover. He hated it. He hated all of it. The need to ease Robert's suffering had invaded Aaron's mind. He knew that by telling him that he didn't actually love him, Robert would feel slightly better. The weight he would feel might ease slightly knowing that Aaron wasn't in this state because of how badly he loved him. That somehow it had nothing to do with the effect Robert still had on him which had altered everything that had happened in that court room. He had to tell him he didn't love him. He had to save him and he had to save himself - the fact that Robert knew Aaron loved him would only spur Robert on to try and try to reunite them - even if it meant visiting prison every week. The thought filled him with dread as he imagined Robert wasting his life, waiting for him when he want even sure if his hate for the man would ever subside.  
It wasn't fair.

"You're right." Aaron said slowly.

"What?" Robert said backing away, "What do you mean right about what?"

"I don't love you Robert. You were right, it's...today. It's made me think that I still had feelings for you but...but I don't. At all."

Robert felt melancholy. Sad that he actually did believe Aaron was now telling the truth yet happy that he could be set free slightly, able to try and accept a life without the one he loved.

Aaron moved up on his bed,  
"Now get out please." He said harshly, instantly regretting the blunt tone of his voice.

Robert sighed, leaning in once more and inhaling Aaron's sweet scent before turning towards the door. Robert opened his mouth to speak, yet suddenly the door behind him opened sharply causing him to jump.

In walked a timid nurse, cutting off Robert completely and grabbing Aaron's attention,  
"Sorry to interrupt Mr Livsey, these are the papers that you need to sign. Discharging yourself papers basically." The nurse said quickly, nervously passing the papers for him to sign with a pen.

"Don't worry he was just leaving." Aaron said softly staring at Robert and watching as he walked out of the room silently.

It was bittersweet.

 

* * *

 

 

An hour passed and Aaron was finally back on his feet, making his way back to the court room he dreaded. The thought of heading back to his prison cell made him feel sick, he knew he wouldn't get bail and so it was the only real option. It was reality, and he hated it all. Robert had dragged himself back to the court room, even though his conscience told him to spare Aaron from seeing his ex lover three times in one day. Deep down he knew that Aaron wouldn't want to face him again, after the conversation at the hospital it was possibly the last thing Aaron wanted. Yet Robert kept telling himself that this wasn't the case, piling his own selfish needs and desires over the buried thoughts regarding Aaron.

' _Typical Robert'_ swirled round and round in his mind, Aaron's voice echoing loudly and overwhelming him.

Chas and Cain soon arrived back to the court with teas in their hands and muttering insults under their breaths as they saw Robert sitting outside Aaron's court room.

"What are you doing back here? Didn't have a good enough look before?" Cain said bluntly, squaring up Robert and allowing him to squirm away slightly.

"Leave it Cain." Chas shouted ushering her brother away from Robert who was now to deflated to fight back.

"Yeah leave it!" Victoria snapped finally reaching the court room door with Adam. "Sorry I'm late." She said turning to her brother "Traffic."

Aaron arrived back in the court room as he turned his head round and gazed up at the stands. Aaron smiled weakly thankful for all their support, yet the smile fell slightly as he saw Robert once again sitting on the edge.

_Why was he there?_

_What did he want now?_

Aaron couldn't understand any of it - not really. He thought that after 'admitting' that he didn't love Robert, Robert's pride alone would have steered him away from retuning. Yet here he was, smiling at him almost as weakly as Aaron had gazed at his mum.

"God he looks better doesn't he!" Chas whispered loudly, making sure that Aaron could hear the support she was giving.

"Course he does, they wouldn't let him out if he wasn't up for it." Cain said, strengthening his sister's hope.

"Thank God he's okay." Chas said almost beaming with happiness.

Robert turned his attention towards Chas swiftly, feeling a sense of warmth and joy as he saw how happy and content Aaron's mum was. He knew he had no effect on Aaron's improvement (as far as he knew - he had only worsened his state by his presence) yet staring down at the strong stance his ex lover held made him feel proud of him regardless of the decisions he had made.

"Now Mr Livesy, I'm glad to hear your feeling better now and ready to carry on this plea hearing."

"Yes sir." Aaron said firmly, staring at the judge.

"Now to the second charge held against you...attempted murder. How do you plead?"

There was a short pause and for a moment Robert thought that Aaron was having another funny turn but it was soon put to a stop as he heard Aaron utter those two powerful words,  
"Not guilty."

Cain and Chas beamed with pride as Victoria sat undecided next to her happy husband who was almost jumping out of his seat with excitement.

Robert sighed slowly to himself, the words had managed to evoke something he wanted to burry deep down. The way Aaron had said the words with so much strength and power. "Not guilty." instantly made him think back to the way Aaron had told him he didn't love him. The same blunt tone that almost seemed rehearsed, that almost seemed practised. All of a sudden the idea that Aaron could have just been rehearsing the words he said at the hospital, entered Robert's mind. The thought of Aaron not telling the truth at the hospital, him lying about not loving him suddenly overwhelmed him. It could be true right? He could have lied to him.

Of course Robert knew that Aaron was innocent but he also knew that Aaron probably rehearsed the way he would tell the judge -which might have been one of the reasons why he had a panic attack in the first place, he felt prepared and ready and then Robert came along and disrupted his thoughts.

The thought of Aaron lying to him about something that he desperately needed to hear, all of a sudden made sense. Aaron wasn't a selfish person, and telling Robert that he wasn't in love with him, would only help Robert - not himself. It was exactly the sort of heroic, brave selfless thing Aaron was practical known for. How could he have missed it? Then of course he knew why, the minute he left the hospital room Robert could finally breathe again. Letting out a sigh of relief as he felt a weight lift of his shoulders, firm in the knowledge that Aaron didn't love him back and happy that he wouldn't be able to draw back in again, only for the possibility of him hurting his ex lover all over again to arise. The fact of the matter was Robert was way too busy trying his hardest to believe Aaron to worry about him lying at all.

Yet as he gazed down at him now, it all become so apparent. Aaron had lied to him, he hadn't told the truth to spare both of their feelings regardless of the love that they both had for one other; the love that wouldn't ever disappear fully.

Aaron bit down on his lip as he awaited the news from the judge regarding bail conditions, he was almost certain that he wouldn't get it, but the thought of going him had crossed his mind from time to time; yet he didn't let it linger. Not at all, he couldn't allow himself to get used to the idea of going home to his mum.

"And now regarding bail conditions..."

"Come on...come on."  Chas said nervously.

"Don't get your hopes up sis, it's attempted murder!" Cain snapped.

"I have taking into account your very recent health issues presented to the court this morning and I have become aware of the distress and impact the case has had on you..."

Aaron smiled slightly as the prospect of going home seemed to be on the cards. Chas let out a small squeal as Adam gripped onto Victoria's hand tightly.

Robert lifted his head up in hope, suddenly the idea of Aaron being within walking distance from him in the village filled him with joy. Soon he was allowing himself to imagine a life with Aaron in it, overtime the cold bitter feelings would melt away and they would become friends again, and then even something more.

"However," Aaron dropped his head, he knew what was coming next "Due to the incredibly serious nature of the crime, I'm afraid I cannot award any bail."

Robert dropped his head as he felt sick with anger, how could he have allowed himself to become so carried away. It was pointless. It was over.

The words had almost crushed Aaron as he turned round swiftly and saw the state of his mum. She looked completely distraught by it all, and it killed him. Adam bent his head before nodding in his best friends direction,  
"Listen mate it's gonna be fine I promise you alright!"

Robert sat numb as he watched Aaron try and hold back the emotions that were flooding out of him uncontrollably.

Aaron nodded his head slowly before turning to face Cain,  
"You look after her you hear me." Cain nodded and winked at Aaron before Aaron turned to face his mum "Don't worry mum I'll be fine okay."

"Take him down." The judge said softly allowing Aaron a few extra moments with his loved ones before he was ushered away.

Robert suddenly stood up,  
"Aaron wait!"

Chas and Cain stared at Robert who was now leaning over the golden bars.

"Bye," Aaron said simply as he tried to avoid Robert's gaze.

"Just tell me...what you said at the hospital please...was it..."

Aaron felt the cuffs lock against his wrists again and heard the familiar click that chained him to prison life once more, he stared up at Robert and couldn't find the strength to lie anymore.

"I lied." Aaron said softly before edging towards the steps "I'm sorry, I can't...It's for the best...I lied."

 

* * *

 

 

Robert sat in shock as he watched Aaron being led away down the steps and back to prison life. Of course Cain and Chas and even his own sister and Adam wanted to find out what on earth the whole conversation was about, but he was too numb to answer. To absorbed in his own fickle thoughts to even act remotely interested in the theories and questions surrounding the whole moment between the ex lovers.

Robert sat for some time, watching in silence as his sister hurried off back to the pub and Adam and Cain went back to Moira's with Chas heading there too (probably to vent to the farm animals about Robert FLAMING Sugden) - just watching as the world went by. He recalled the last words Aaron had said to him "I lied" over and over and over again. He knew it, deep down he knew all along that Aaron was lying, he knew that originally Aaron was baring his soul to him and the minute he backed him down and told him to take it all back - Aaron had done exactly that.

He hated himself for allowing Aaron to hide his feelings again. This wasn't the first time Robert had rejected the love Aaron felt for him, he hadn't learnt a damn thing. All those months ago when Robert had told Aaron that it wasn't real and that it was just sex, it all came flooding back. How could he have been so cruel? So ignorant to his own feelings? After reuniting with Aaron he had promised himself that he would never pass up the opportunity of hearing Aaron say he loved him. Ever. That if he ever had the pleasure of hearing those little words, he would treasure it always.

Yet now he had done exactly that - for his own good really- yet this was besides the point now. Because in that moment, as Robert finally hauled himself up from the wooden bench and made his way outside into the gloomy rain - all he could imagine was Aaron feeling the same sense of regret and pain.

In that moment, Robert wanted nothing better to do than to hear Aaron say it once more. "I still love you" how selfish was he? Knowing that Aaron hated how much he loved him, but standing out in the cold rain had awakened something inside Robert - a sense of justice he knew he had to achieve for his ex lover. He knew that the possibility of making things between them was abysmal at the moment, yet he would fight for him regardless, making sure the judge saw his innocence as clearly as he did. And then maybe one day he could hear it. One day in the future, as him and Aaron finally embraced each other, after the charges had been dropped and the cruel memories forgiven. He might be able to hear the four little words from his blued eyed lover...

 _"I still love you"_ and everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for all the lovely comments and kudos for this fic! Find me on tumblr: Fangirlqueen87

**Author's Note:**

> More to come ...


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